The parent’s guide to finding the right therapist for your teen.
Watching your teenager struggle and not knowing how to help? It’s one of the most helpless feelings in the world. And when you realize that your own toolbox of tips and tricks isn’t enough—that it’s time to bring in some experts? Well, that means more than just dialing up the first therapist for your teen that you find on Google.
It means finding a therapist that clicks with your teenager and truly understands teen mental health challenges like teen anxiety, teen depression, and emotional regulation.
And that’s no small task.
Parenting’s already one of the hardest things we’ll ever do. That whole “having-kids-is-like-having-a-separate-heart-living-and-walking-outside-of-your-body” sentiment? Couldn’t feel truer.
And parenting teenagers? That can feel like the take-no-prisoners version of the ultimate emotional endurance test. With hormones, peer pressure, high school stress, and college prep, it’s a time period that bounces almost hourly between chaos and magic—and that’s on a good day.
So where do you even start? How do you find someone who actually gets your kid? Let’s break it down.
Questions answered in this article:
- How do I start the process of finding the right therapist for my teenager?
- What should I consider when narrowing down therapists who might be a good fit?
- What different therapy approaches should I explain to my teen to help them feel comfortable?
- How can I tell if a therapist who looks good on paper will actually connect with my teen?
Step 1: Getting your teen involved in the just-right therapist search
If you just laughed out loud, we get it. Finding an outfit that clicks with your teenager is nearly impossible—now you need to find a whole personality?
Don’t panic. We’ve got you. And we’ve been there.
First, remember: no two teenagers are the same. What worked for one may not work for another. And that’s okay. Your goal isn’t to find a therapist that your neighbor’s kid liked, or even one you like as a parent. It’s about finding someone who makes your teen feel seen, heard, and safe.
So, start with them. Their likes and dislikes change constantly, and what they loved as a preteen may not fly anymore. Before jumping into research mode, check in:
“You used to like XYZ. Is that still the case? I want to make sure this is a positive experience for you.”
A quick convo can make them feel involved and show that you’re not just making assumptions—you care.
Involve them as much as they’d like. They might want you to handle everything—especially if they’re struggling with teen anxiety or teen self-esteem—but gently encourage them to take some ownership. Try asking:
- Do you want to look at some options together?
- Would you like a quick call with a few therapists to see who feels like the best fit?
- Want to check out their bios/websites?
Letting them weigh in makes them more likely to engage—and helps set them up to feel comfortable seeking support in the future.
Nervous about starting the conversation about mental health with your teen? We got you covered here!
Step 2: Recognize that not all therapists are the same
Once your teen is on board—or at least aware of what’s going on—you’ll need to figure out what kind of therapist is the best fit. Because just like every teenager is different, so are therapists.
Start with approach:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
- Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
- Trauma-informed therapy
- Family counseling
Then, consider format—some therapists only work in person, while others offer virtual therapy sessions, which can change how therapy feels.
Next up: specializations. While all therapists have general training, some focus on specific areas, like:
- LGBTQIA+ support
- Trauma-focused therapy
- Neurodivergence (ADHD, autism, etc.)
- Chronic self-harm/suicidality
- Eating disorders
- Family therapy
- Substance addiction (including tech/social media overuse)
Once you and your teen have an idea of what might work best, a keyword search can help build a list of potential therapists who check your teen’s boxes—especially if you’re looking for therapy for teens near me or how to find a therapist for a teenager.
Step 3: Finding the right fit
Once you have a shortlist, it’s all about finding a therapist who makes your teen feel safe.
Remember being a teenager? The last thing you wanted was someone talking about you behind your back—especially to your parents. That hasn’t changed.
A good therapist will set clear confidentiality boundaries with both teens and parents, typically only breaking them in cases of imminent risk (e.g., active suicidality or abuse).
As parents, this can be a tough sell. We want to know what’s going on!
But a good therapist will help both teens and parents understand that boundaries build trust. When teens feel safe, they open up and get the support they need.
That doesn’t mean you’re out of the loop. It just means your teen—with the therapist’s guidance—gets to set the tone of therapy and decides:
- When and if they want to include you in sessions
- What they’re comfortable sharing
- How those conversations will happen
A good therapist may invite you into a session—but let your teen lead.
Step 4: How do you know it’s the right fit
Once you’ve gotten your initial list together, make consultations your friend.
Encourage your teen to meet with a few therapists and ask questions, especially if they have concerns.
For example, if your teenager has had a bad past experience with suicidal thoughts, they may fear hospitalization. If that’s the case, you can encourage them to ask (or ask on their behalf):
- How do you approach suicidality?
- At what point do you consider hospitalization?
- What is your approach to self-harm?
If they’ve never been to therapy before and don’t know what to expect, a helpful question might be:
- Can you share what your sessions typically look like—how they start, what you work on, what approaches you use?
Ultimately, the best therapist is one who actually gets your teen.
Final thoughts: Finding the right therapist is possible
If you’ve ever looked at your struggling teen and thought, “I have no idea how to help them,” you’re not alone. We’ve been there. And we know how gut-wrenching it feels.
But with the right approach—open communication, understanding boundaries, and finding the right therapist—you can help your teen get the support they need, in a way that truly works for them.
If you’re in a Sanare Today program area, we’re here to help. Our Adolescent Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOP) and Tween IOP provide structured support for teen depression, anxiety, trauma, and emotional regulation, all in a safe and compassionate space.
You don’t have to figure this out alone. Let’s talk—we’ll help you take the next right step.
Are you ready to make the teen years a little easier?
When you reach out to Sanare for help with your teen’s anxiety, we’ll assess where they are clinically and what type of help is needed and get them the level of support they need. Learn more about Sanare Today’s approach to teen mental health treatment.
Here’s what you can expect from your sign up process:
- You’ll call in, and our admissions team will help you schedule your initial consultation within 48 hours
- During your in-person or virtual consultation, one of our therapists will help determine which program (or trusted partner) will be the best fit for you
- You’ll show up to your first session (probably a little freaked out, and that’s totally fine), listen to others’ stories, and start gaining tools you can apply that same day
Get started here
We’re rooting for you
Sanare Today is a mental health provider offering IOP, PHP, and outpatient therapy programs for teens, children, and adults dealing with childhood trauma, depression, anxiety, and more. We offer therapy in Philadelphia, PA; Wilmington, DE; Raleigh, NC and beyond. Get in touch with us here!