Is It Imposter Syndrome—Or Are You Actually Failing?

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Ever feel like you accidentally tricked everyone into thinking you know what you’re doing even though you’ve got the experience and skill set to do it? Spoiler alert: It’s probably imposter syndrome.

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Imposter syndrome: sneaky, persistent, and a world-class liar.

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It’s the feeling that any day now, someone’s going to pull back the curtain and realize you have no idea what you’re doing—even if, on paper, it’s crystal clear that you do.

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So how do you know if you’re actually failing? Or if it’s just that voice in your head again, doing its thing?

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Everyone Has Doubts—But This Is Different

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Feeling nervous about a big presentation or a new job is normal. But imposter syndrome isn’t just about nerves. It’s not just:

“Can I handle this?”

It’s:

“I’ve definitely tricked everyone into thinking I’m competent and I’m gonna get caught any day now.”

Even when you’ve got evidence—degrees, results, promotions, kind words, experience, maybe a decent parking spot—imposter syndrome can still make you feel like a fraud.

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Questions answered in this article:

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How do I know if I’m actually failing or just dealing with imposter syndrome?
Why do I feel like a fraud even when I have proof I’m doing okay?
Where does imposter syndrome even come from?
Why does it show up in places outside of work (and in my body too)?
What can I actually do to stop spiraling and feel more confident?

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Where Does this Feeling Come From?

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(It didn’t just pop up out of nowhere.)

Imposter syndrome isn’t just run-of-the-mill insecurity. 

It’s a belief—based on a messy mix of things that get baked in over time—that your success isn’t actually yours. Like luck or charm or timing got you here, not actual skill or effort.

These beliefs didn’t just show up one day, and they’re not based on one, easy-to-combat cause. They’re usually based on a mix of experiences, patterns, and beliefs we’ve picked up over time.

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Imposter syndrome can be traced back to a cocktail of life experiences, expectations, dynamics, and history—like a tangled mess of stuff you’ve picked up over time. Family dynamics, personality traits, school stress, toxic workplaces, comparison traps—you name it. And when all that overlaps? That’s when the imposter voice gets loud.

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But those experiences? They’re not personal flaws. They’re context for why your brain is doing what it’s doing.

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Why You Can’t Just “Think Your Way Out of It”

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You’ve got the receipts—good reviews, promotions, accomplishments. But your brain? It’s like:

“Sure, you graduated with honors, but that’s just because your professor liked you.”

Or:

“Yeah you got the job, but they were probably just desperate.”

Or: 

“You can call yourself a founder, but wait ‘til someone asks a follow-up question.”

It’s exhausting. And it doesn’t respond to logic. Because imposter syndrome isn’t just a thought—it’s a belief. It lives deep.

And It Doesn’t Just Stop At Work

Lots of us usually think imposter syndrome = career doubt. But it can show up anywhere. 

Ever thought: “Who let me be a parent?”

Or: “Everyone else is meal-prepping quinoa bowls and I’m Googling ‘easy dinner ideas’ in the grocery store parking lot.”

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If your emotional or physical needs were overlooked or dismissed growing up, it makes sense that you'd carry around a feeling of not-enough-ness, even when the evidence says otherwise.

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And even when you’ve journaled, reflected, or had that one big “aha” moment on a solo road trip—those old beliefs can still creep back in when you get triggered.

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This Thing Shows Up in Your Body, Too

That’s right. You don’t just think imposter syndrome—you feel it. And even if it’s not a “clinical diagnosis,” it can include:

• Tight shoulders
• Knots in your stomach
• Racing heart
• Tension from head to toe

It’s not all in your head. Your body gets the memo too. Which can lead to stress, anxiety, and even depression.

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And while you're quietly dealing with all that on the inside…

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Everyone Else Looks Fine. But Are They Actually?

...you’re probably looking around thinking everyone else is breezing through. Confident. Composed. Crushing it.

But plot twist: a lot of them are looking at you and thinking the same thing.

You can appear cool, calm, and thriving on the outside and still be an anxious mess inside. And so can the person next to you. The person you follow online. That super confident coworker. 

Pretty much all of us. Faking it, basically.

Everyone’s putting on a good show. Everyone’s comparing themselves to someone. Everyone’s faking it, at least a little.

And honestly? Most people are riding the same roller coaster. Everyone has good days and bad days. We move along a spectrum of doubt and confidence—none of us has some magical switch that flips forever into “winning”.

You’re not either “totally confident” or “a complete fraud.”  You’re human. And so’s that seemingly perfect co-worker in the office next door. So is everyone else.

(You learn that in our Catalyst & Turning Point programs. There’s something about showing up feeling so nervous about your own junk and then hearing someone else say they’re feeling the same that just…makes it easier to breathe again.)

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Okay, But What Do I Do About It?

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Here’s where we stop spiraling and start working.

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1. Understand Where This Crap Came From

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Your doubt didn’t magically appear. It’s got roots.

Whether it started in your childhood, school, your first job, or all of the above—it helps to name it.

Once you do, you’ll start to loosen its grip. 

But. It can be hard to sift through the muddied memories on your own (a slippery slope to blaming ourselves again instead of actually finding peace). It can also bring up memories we’re not ready to face alone. That’s where our specialty programs—Trauma-focused, LGBTQIA+-focused, and more—help. 

(Plus every single one of our therapists is trained to help you navigate trauma, which seems like it should be a given in therapy but isn’t offered by most mental health companies.)

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2. Stop Arguing with Your Brain—Give It New Material

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Trying to shut down the voice in your head? It’s almost impossible. Instead, feed it something new.

Pick a mantra. A quote. A line that feels strong. Even if you don’t believe it yet.

Say it out loud. Say it in the mirror. Visualize it. Our brains love to learn new things.

Brené Brown uses:

“Stand your sacred ground.”

Try it. See what comes up. Let it land in your body. Feel it.

(This is something you’ll get a hang of quickly in our DBT-focused Turning Point groups.)

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3. Embody It—Literally

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When imposter syndrome hits, ask:

• Where do I feel this in my body?
• Can I breathe into it?
• What would confidence feel like right now? (You can draw upon a memory of when/where you’re most confident)
• Can I picture that version of myself?

Your imagination is powerful—it actually helps build new brain pathways. You don’t need to “fake it till you make it.” You can practice it till you believe it.

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4. Keep Going

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There’s no flipping a magic switch here. No overnight fix. No “You’re entitled to feel 100% confident” certificate coming in the mail.

But with time and practice, the imposter voice gets quieter.

And your own voice? The one that’s actually been there the whole time? It gets louder.

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Final Word

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If you’ve been nodding along with any of this, we get it—you’re definitely not the only one white-knuckling your way through life wondering when someone’s going to come take it all back.

Whether you’re questioning your abilities, your identity, or just trying to survive a Tuesday without spiraling—you’re not broken. You’re not behind. You’re a whole, complex human who’s done hard things and lived through weird stuff and still shows up and tries.

If we’re all secretly feeling like frauds…maybe it’s not fraud. Maybe it’s just what being a human looks like up close. There’s nothing imposter-y about that. 

If You’re Ready to Go Deeper

Imposter Syndrome might not be a clinical diagnosis, but the stuff behind it? All the old baggage, unhelpful patterns, and emotional knots you can’t quite name—that’s where our Rapid Renewal Program comes in. It’s designed to help you untangle the root stuff that Imposter Syndrome feeds on, using tools like EMDR and real, practical support.

Because you don’t have to keep carrying this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

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