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7 subtle signs your teen's not okay (that are easy to miss)

February 4, 2025

Today’s teens are balancing more than ever before.

Classes. Jobs. Sports. Social lives. College pressure. And the unspoken expectation to keep it all together.

If you’re a parent, teacher, coach, or caregiver—you’ve probably wondered: Is this just normal teenage stuff... or is something deeper going on?

You’re not alone for asking. And you're not wrong to worry.

Because while teens might be experts at saying “I’m fine,” behavior has a way of telling the truth.  

This article will help you:

  • Spot the subtle red flags of teen mental health struggles
  • Know when a lack of motivation is more than just teen angst
  • Figure out how to talk to your teen without pushing them away  

What you see isn’t always the whole story

Teens communicate in layers.

Sometimes they overshare. Sometimes they disappear into their rooms with headphones and three hoodies on. Either way—don’t assume silence means peace.

The adults who see them every day (you) are often the first to notice when something’s off.

Here’s what to watch for.

1. Their eating habits suddenly shift

Skipping meals. Snacking constantly. Not showing up for family dinners.
Any drastic change from their baseline could signal a deeper issue—especially if it’s tied to anxiety, depression, or body image stress.

2. Their sleep’s a mess

Teens naturally stay up later—but if your teen can’t fall asleep, can’t stay asleep, or sleeps all day and still feels exhausted, pay attention.

Their nervous system may be waving a white flag.

3. Their social life looks different

If they’re suddenly ditching old friends, spending way more (or way less) time alone, or only connecting with people who seem to reinforce negativity—it’s worth checking in.

Withdrawal is often a quiet cry for help.  

4. They’ve lost motivation

This one’s tricky. What looks like “lazy” might actually be a lack of energy or hope.

If they’ve stopped caring about school, sports, hygiene, or hobbies they used to love, don’t assume it’s defiance.
It could be depression.

Try this:

“I’ve noticed you’re not doing ___ anymore. What’s going on for you around that?”

Keep it curious, not critical.


5. They’re taking more risks

Experimenting is one thing. Escalating is another.

If your teen is relying on substances to sleep, cope, or check out—especially if it’s getting in the way of their relationships, goals, or safety—it’s time to step in.

Other red flags include:

  • Driving recklessly
  • Sneaking out
  • Engaging with strangers online
  • Running away
  • These are all signals of a nervous system in distress.

6. Their emotions feel bigger—and harder to name

Teens often don’t have the language for what they’re feeling.

What comes out as irritation or anger might actually be sadness, anxiety, shame, or fear.

If your teen is snapping more, crying more, shutting down more, or saying things like “I don’t know what’s wrong with me”—believe them. And help them name it.


7. School performance is tanking

Grades slipping? Missing assignments? Skipping class?

These aren’t always signs of laziness—they’re often signs of burnout.

Their brain might be too overwhelmed to keep up, and that’s not something they can just “push through.”


So what now?

Approaching your teen about mental health can be delicate.

They might get defensive. They might shut down. That doesn’t mean you did it wrong.

Keep your tone calm.

Use open-ended questions.

Leave space for silence. (Yes, it’s uncomfortable. No, don’t rush to fill it.)

Try:

“I know things have felt heavy lately. You don’t have to explain everything—but if something’s not feeling right, we can figure it out together.”

And if the signs are stacking up? Don’t wait for a crisis to get help.

At Sanare, we offer intensive teen programs that are built for this exact moment.

Whether your teen is anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, or just feeling not okay in a way they can’t name, we help them move forward—fast. And with people who get it.  

What happens when you reach out:

  1. You call us.
  2. Our team will schedule your consultation within 48 hours.
  3. We meet with you and your teen.
  4. Together, we’ll figure out what kind of support will actually help.
  5. That might be one of our Turning Point programs, or a trusted referral.
  6. Your teen starts their sessions.
  7. Probably nervous. Maybe guarded. That’s normal.
  8. But they’ll be in a space that feels safe—and that changes everything.

Let’s stop hoping they’ll “grow out of it.”

Let’s help them grow through it—with real support, not just good intentions.

They don’t have to go through this alone. And neither do you.

Ready for a therapy program that can help you navigate not only the holidays but all days?

Link to Contact Page

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